UNILAG Student Uses Theory Of Magnetism To Show Gay Marriage Is Wrong

When you’ve spent close to 3 months at home doing nothing, you tend to think up a lot of stupid things, including daydreams of being a groundbreaking scientist.
This effect, called the ASUU effect, may have impacted on a student of the University of Lagos, Chibuihem Amalaha, who claims to have proven that gay marriage is wrong through science.
Amalaha says his experiments show that the north and south poles of magnets are attracted to each other — but same poles repel each other. Astoundingly, this “means that man cannot attract another man because they are the same, and a woman should not attract a woman because they are the same. That is how I used physics to prove gay marriage wrong.”

But that’s not all. Amalaha, who says he’ll win a Nobel prize one day, has also used chemistry, biology, and mathematics to disprove gay marriage.

His mathematics of gay marriage is particularly illuminating. In an interview with This Day Live he says:

In mathematics which is another core area of science, I used what is called the principle of commutativity and idepotency. Commutativity in mathematics is simply the arrangement of numbers or arrangement of letters in which the way you arrange them don’t matter. For example, if you say A + B in mathematics you are going to have B + A. For example, if I say two plus three it will give five. If I start from three, I say three plus two it also give you five showing that two plus three and three plus two are commutative because they gave the same results. That shows that A + B will give you B + A, you see that there is a change. In A + B, A started the journey while in B + A, B started the journey. If we use A as a man and use B as a woman we are going to have B + A that is woman and man showing that there is a reaction. A + B reacted, they interchanged and gave us B + A showing that commutativity obeys that a man should not marry a man and a woman should not marry a woman. If you use idempotency, it’s a reaction in mathematics where A + A = A. Actually in abstract algebra, A + A =2A but we are less concerned with the numerical value two. We are more less concerned with the symbols A, you find out that A + A will give you A showing that the whole thing goes unchanged. It didn’t change unlike commutativity A + B give B + A there is a change. A started the journey in commutativity and A + B gave us B + A and B started the journey after the equality sign. But in the case of idempotency A + A will give you A showing that it goes unreacted. You started with A and you meet A ,the final result is A. Showing that a man meeting a man A + A will produce a man there is no reaction, it goes unreacted and in chemical engineering you have to send the material back to the reactor for the action to be carried out again showing that it goes unreacted. That is how mathematics has shown that gay marriage is wrong because commutativity proves that gay marriage is wrong. Idempotency also proves that gay marriage is wrong. So these are the principles I have used to prove gay marriage wrong in physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics and by the grace of God I am the only one that has proved this in the whole world.

The ASUU effect may have affected the lecturers too, as This Day reports that his “groundbreaking” work was endorsed by his supervisors.

…Dr. Henry Boyo, Department of Physics at UNILAG approved of him. He said: “I have known him (Stanley) for the past five years. He is a very sound guy. He is genuine in terms of his scientific discoveries. He has appeared on NTA and SilverBird televisions where he demonstrated his knowledge of science. When you talk to him, you will know that he understands what he is talking about. He is convincing.
“He conceptualised the idea of using sciences and mathematics to prove gay marriage wrong and we have worked it here. Some people make claims to religion but he went a step further to use science and mathematics to prove gay marriage wrong. He used my laboratory here (UNILAG) to carry out his researches. He is the originator of the idea, he deserves commendation and we support the idea. You can quote me anywhere, the guy’s concept is germane and it has been scientifically proven to be true.”

ASUU, please call of the strike.